WHAT IS TOXIC RELATIONSHIP AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT?
Humans being a social animal exhibits a tendency and desire to make relations with other humans at every level of his or her life. From being a child till old age, humans are always under some kind of relationship with different persons. For social health, relationships play a very important role.
But the question arises that are all relationships have positive and constructive influence or impact on the life of an individual?
Well, the answer is NO.
As being in some kind of relationship is important for an individual for his or her social life, it is also important to stay away from the TOXIC RELATIONSHIP to prevent one’s downfall and degradation of a normal healthy life. In this era of globalisation, industrialisation, and urbanisation maintaining a relationship is a very tedious task because of the lack of time. We do not invest much into relationships and hence they can result in being toxic.
So how can we identify that we are in a toxic relationship or not? Here are few signs which can help you do so
- Your relationship makes you depressed and emotionally drained
- The contribution in the relationship is not mutual
- You try to avoid each other
- There is no trust, respect, and communication
- There are violence and abuse
- Presence of jealousy
- No support in a difficult situation
- The feeling of loneliness even being in a relationship
- Constant controlling in every aspect of life
- The blame always comes to you for every wrong decision or situation
- Lack of care and support
- Make you loathe yourself.
These are the few signs of toxic relationships and these can be present in any relationship whether it is with parents, relatives, friends, colleagues, spouse, etc. It is very important to look for the above signs for early and prompt action before it is too late.
In Indian culture, it is still very common to compromise and put the effort into a relationship, and yes, it is very necessary, but there is a limit to compromising and getting suffering from a relationship.
First, we will look at the toxic relationship with family (Parents, Relatives)
Family is the building block of our attitude, commitment, and responsibility towards a relationship. What we learn by seeing our family and how our family is behaving with us and others are sketched in our mind from childhood. This all becomes our nature and habit. Thus, family plays a very important role in deciding our type of relationship. If a child is facing abuse (verbal, physical, sexual), neglect, violence, negative criticism, blame it affects his or her mind and plays an important role in future
How to prevent toxic relationship in the family
- Spend quality time with family members to understand each other and make strong bonds of love.
- Care about each other despite having problems (Physical, physiological, social, economic) .
- Support each other in every situation.
- Do not blame each other for misfortunes.
- Report the authorities of the abuse and violence going inside the home.
- Try to get help from the neighbours.
- Try to get Psychological help from a family counselor.
- Separation of the family from the abused person in the family.
The toxic relationship between friends
In this era, it is really very difficult to find which person is genuinely your friend or that person is only there to take advantage of you. In the desperation of gaining company, we tend to indulge in relationships that can be toxic for us. Below are some signs that your friendship is toxic.
- You are the only one contributing to your friendship, either emotionally or financially.
- Your friend criticizes and blames you for every mishappening and negative outcome
- Your friend is jealous of you and speaks badly about you behind your back
- Your friend tries to control every aspect of life
- You are in constant fear that your friendship will be over if you do not behave according to your friend
- Your friend makes you self loathe
- Your friend is abuse towards you, verbally, physically, or emotionally
So, what we can do to prevent the toxic friendship
- 1st of all from the beginning we should try to find a friend who is not appearing to be with us for personal benefits.
- If the friendship was normal at first but eventually became toxic, then we should see the cause behind that. Try to make your friend understand and help him if he is facing any problem and behaving like that
- Friendship is based on mutual support and understanding if it is lacking then it is better to get over that friendship
- You should never allow being treated badly even if it is your friend
- Tell your parents and teachers if the situation is going too overboard.
The toxic relationship between spouses
Toxic relationships are also present between the spouses. Regardless of gender violence and abuse is very common in our country, but still women are the vulnerable section of society. There are many cases in the newspaper in which it is written that the abuse and violence lead to the suicide or the death of a woman in the matrimony. The reason behind this may be that society still treats women as second-class citizens and expects them to fulfill every criterion which society has decided for her. India is still a patriarchal and dominating society.
But here we are discussing the toxic relationship which can be both for males and females, regardless of their gender.
So, what are the signs of a toxic relationship between spouses?
- There are constant disagreement and a negative attitude towards each other in every aspect of decision-making in their life.
- There is no support and personal space for each other.
- One spouse is stressed and dominates the other. Also controls every aspect of his or her partner.
- The beginning of violence and abuse of any form between spouses.
- The constant state of anger, anxiety, and depression in marriage.
- There is no mutual understanding and respect and love between the spouses.
- There is a lack of trust and constant doubt regarding each other’s character. The attempt to sabotage each other’s character in front of family members or society.
- The presence of negative criticism.
- A commitment of only one member in the relationship.
- A feeling of being unworthy in the relationship
- No acceptance and compromise for each other.
The above-given signs are a warning that you are in a toxic relationship and urgent steps should be taken.
- Try to make your partner understand that what he or she is doing is not right.
- Try to handle the situation maturely and encourage the other person to talk and build up a strong communication to solve this problem together.
- Toxic relationships not only affect the spouses but also their children in a very negative way.
- Take the help of family members and elders if needed to mend the relationship
- Try to spend time with each other to develop understanding, respect, and trust
- If things are out of control then report the concerned authority with the help of close family members or neighbours.
In a relationship, it is very important to have love, respect, mutual understanding, support, care, etc. If any of these things lack, there are many chances that the relationship can become toxic. Being in a relationship gives you security and makes you a good human being. In WHO definition social well-being is also considered to be an important part of health and, a healthy relationship is also a part of good health. Healthy relationships also make life beautiful and prosperous. So, to MAKE BETTER LIFE it is very important to come out of the toxic relationship in any field or aspect of your life.